STEPS TO BECOMING A MORE LOVABLE YOU
This is going to take a lot of hard work, practice and patience. You’ve developed habits that have been installed in you for many years until this present day. A lot of relearning and brainwashing that’s going to have to take place. Things that have helped me.
1. Self reflect…
Identify all that you are. Your fears. Likes, dislikes. Insecurities. Now this may take time. A day. A week. A month. A year or years. Depending on how in depth you are willing to go. You may cry. No scratch that you will cry. You may become angry at all of the suppressed emotions that will come up when you finally decide to face yourself. Memories you’ve stored in the back of your psyche will begin to resurface. Sit in it.
The purpose is to understand you. To get to really know yourself. Too many people do not like to sit with themselves because if they do, they will discover that they don’t really like who they are. The person we are embedded in their minds. They run from this person by distracting themselves with noise and other people. So start by being honest with yourself. Evaluate your heart: that’s your motives and intents behind your actions. Be genuine in your quest to self discovery. It’s bad already to lie to others about who you are, it’s worse to lie to yourself about who you are. That just means that you do not accept yourself, aren’t willing to acknowledge the bad in you ..therefore you do not love yourself.
Also know that as human beings, we are ever changing so every so often we have to get to know the person we are today. We have to check our fears, likes dislikes, and insecurities. As we face new challenges and gain new experiences, They may not be the same as they were a few months ago.
2. Renew the mind..
(Podcasts ..saying affirmations …listening to affirmations during my sleep(brainwashing)… reading my Bible..watching videos to learn. Begin to replace all of the negative self talk with the opposite. A more positive alternative. If the thoughts in your head tell you that you are ugly. Tell yourself that “I am beautiful.” The thoughts in your head tell you that you are unworthy. Tell yourself “I am worthy of love.” Of respect. It’s easier said than done, trust me I know. The point is to rewire your thinking and because it did not take one day to develop this negative habit, it will not take one day to change it. Because thats what it is. A habit of bad self talk. As Ziglar would say a case of stinking thinking. Every insult your parent may have thrown at you. Every disappointment your family member could’ve expressed to you. The bullying you may have endured in your childhood from those closest to you. The …..that formed into insecurity, this is what becomes your inner voice. Now it’s time to start breaking habits and forming new ones..it’s time to start telling yourself new things. More positive, uplifting things. Things that will motivate you to cultivate more in this life. But it will require repetition, repetition, repetition. It will require self awareness and being intentional. I heard it takes 21 days to form a habit. Well try it for 21 days. And then another 21 days. Until you start to see changes in your thinking pattern. Know that doubt will creep into your mind as you are in the process of rewiring the brain but the goal is to push through no matter the obstacle. Keep learning, gaining new knowledge and feeding your brain. An idle brain is a devil’s playground they say.
3. Acquire NEW knowledge.
And in all that you do get understanding. Knowledge is so important when it come to self development because if you do not know better, you simply will not do better. With all of these different resources out there, it doesn’t really make sense why majority of people are walking around living mediocre lives. As I am typing, I even speak to myself when I say this. We have YouTube, bookstores, Libraries etc. Knowledge is at the tip of our fingers, it is EVERYWHERE. It’s just a matter of how much we want to be a learner, a student of life. We believe that learning stops after school and college but that’s not true, there’s so many things to learn in this life that school can’t teach us. Experience will teach us these lessons. It is up to us to gain knowledge and help us navigate through this life. Watch podcasts, read books, speak to people in your life that exude wisdom: who’s been there and done that. Someone who is willing to learn will always keep growing. We’re not meant to remain the same. To be stagnant. If you want to be a new you, then you have to do what’s required for you to be a new you. And it all starts with what’s being put in your mind first.
4. Take action!
No seriously, take action. Like stop going places that don’t benefit you…stop habits that make you feel like shit I.e drinking excessively..stop hanging around people who do you no good..start to take one day at a time working on things. Keep yourself from distractions, that mean anything or anyone that can detour you from making positive changes. Quit doing the things you truly don’t want to do in this life. You only have one life to live so make the best of the time we are given. Life is too unpredictable to live a life that’s not blessed and abundant.
5. Remain consistent.
Know that what you are doing is HARD. Know that you will not see changes overnight. This can be discouraging. Trust me I know. But just think about it, if you keep on doing the same thing over and over, eventually your ….WILL get used to this new habit you’re forming. Now if you stop? You will have to start the process all over again. So why stop? What is the point in taking two steps forward to then go back four? Remain consistent. Through the mundane, the ….times. Know that you may fail but keep on going anyhow. You only truly fail when you stop trying. You will never reach perfection but striving to be our perfect self..our best self is the greatest part in all this. The process of seeing growth and change is what makes it worth it. The effort we put in daily to ensure that we are becoming someone we love and are proud of is what truly matters.