WHO AM I.. TRULY?

Let’s start here. Can we admit that not being able to be you is so excruciating. I mean at least to me it is.

I grew up in a household where I was who everyone wanted me to be., or at least felt like I had to be in order to feel seen. A chameleon one would say. But not in the sense of y . No, I tried that many times and failed. I was never really good at pretending to be something or someone that I wasn’t. It left me unhappy and feeling depleted. I was a chameleon hiding and blending into the background. This carried on into the outside world, with my friends, at school with students I barely even knew, my cousins and other intermediate family members. I just wanted people to accept me and like me, even if it wasn’t for me being me.

If I am being honest, I didn’t know who I was at the time. How could I? Even now as an adult, I still question who I am at my core, so how much more as a child? It’s nearly impossible to. From the moment we come out of our mother’s womb, we are bombarded with the thoughts and voices of many. We are taught how to think, what to think. What to believe about the outside world, and most importantly what to believe about ourselves. This becomes our reality. At this point in time, in our lives, we are not wise enough to have the discernment to know what is truth, differentiate right from wrong, if there is such a thing as right and wrong. We just go with the flow of what is familiar and normal among our environment.

Are you this person because you ….or are you who you are because this is what people expect you to be?