LOVE 101
A big question that the world is trying to figure out. Some say love is a feeling. Some say love is action based, some say it is passion and others say love is pain. What do you say love is?
See, because your foundational idea of love is what you will expect in your relationships.
It is important to know real love because if not, our ignorance can cause us to make poor decisions, self sabotage, become highly critical of ourselves, neglect our own needs and feelings, and accept abuse or mistreatment. Or maybe result to something even worse, like killing somebody! Oh yea, it gets that serious.
Here are some basic understandings of Love..
Love is a feeling.
Not just any old feeling but an intense feeling of deep affection for something or someone. See the thing about feelings though? feelings are fleeting, which is why we need more than that.
What about the times when you don’t feel so lovey dovey? Do you withhold your respect for your significant other? I mean we’re all humans. We experience about 1,000 emotions in a day. You can love someone and be annoyed of them momentarily but the respect should still remain for your partner.
The same should go for yourself. Loving yourself should not be solely based on your feelings. Some days you may think you’re beautiful and the best thing walking on the earth and other days you may feel like crap. Do not rely solely on your feelings to determine whether you are worthy of love, even from yourself.
Love is an action.
How does one express their love if it’s not through their actions? Through words ? Well, what good are words if it’s not backed up by actions you take to show that you care. Even if someone feels love; that feeling, if pure and strong enough will drive them to show and prove it because of the intensity of the emotion. It’s innate, not only in humans but even in animals! Have you seen the way a male baboon shows his affection to his female counterpart? I have! It’s truly an intriguing thing to watch. He caresses her hair, guides and protects her. In that same way, someone’s behavior toward you is and always will be an indication of how they feel about you deep in their heart.
Let’s use this for example. You’re tired and you don’t feel like working out, but it’s something you normally love to do. Does that stop you from loving to what you do? You make a choice to push through anyway and continue on with your routine. Why? Because of dedication. The motivation to continue only comes after you push through. As you go through the mundane motions, you will begin to get that drive and excitement that will allow you to continue. But the minute you stop? you lose all that drive and fall into your old ways. Worse case, you might quit altogether. I say all that to say, the same is with love. Love allows you to push through the difficult times and not rely solely on feelings.
Make the decision daily to love on you. The more you choose to love yourself through the bad feelings and good, the more you fall in love with who you are. The more you choose to take care of yourself, the more it becomes easier to prioritize yourself and your happiness.
The most important relationship we can have is with OURSELVES. Only then are we able to share that love with others.